Dear Muse,
I am writing to let you know a few things about myself. I LOVE everything to do with food. When I was in kindergarten the teacher asked us to share what we loved. I went first, and said, “spaghetti”. The girl who went next said, “my mom”. I thought, “damn, I should have said that.” Apparently, my five-year old self was my true self. I love shopping for food, preparing it and most of all eating it. So much so, it is a compulsion. The only times I forget entirely about food is when I am painting. I love to mix colors and paint a picture until I am happy with it. When I start to love the process and the desired form begins to appear, the endorphins really kick in.
I HATE people lying to me. I hate war. I hate stinky things and when guitar players play the same pattern over and over in a really high pitch.
I DESIRE a peaceful existence. I want to paint every day. I want the willingness to turn all of myself over to God. I want a happy family and to travel.
I want to LET GO of entitlement, selfishness, and anger.
BEAUTY brings aliveness, creativity, appreciation of art and nature, appreciation of my family and friends.
The feeling of DESPAIR comes from the hearing about abused children, poor treatment of people with mental illness, despair in other people, war, shopping for clothes.
I LIKE a party. Sitting around a fire pit. Date night if it turns out well.
I WANT recognition of my art.
I am WILLING to let go of my inner critical voice, or at least mute it.
with unending love,
And thanks for listening,
Gator Girl