Posted in Uncategorized

I drive a Prius and shit.

Hey y’all,

A Prius is super cool. For one reason you don’t have to use a key to drive it. You just need to have the key near by. Like the passenger can have the key in her purse.

So… my husband (from this point forward referred to as “my sweet darlin’,”)  dropped me off in the Whole Foods parking garage while he circled for a parking place.

If you don’t have a key for the Prius near by, you may continue to drive, as long as you don’t turn the engine off. 

My sweet darlin’ is energy conserving, much like the Prius. While waiting for someone to back out, he attempted to put the Prius in park. Instead of “park” he pushed “power”.

On a Saturday, the Whole Foods parking garage is over-flowing with cars.

My sweet darlin’ called me, called me, called me. Silently praying for me to come running out with the key.

Then he came rushing into the store like Super Mouse yelling at me for not picking up my phone.

Prequel to Mighty Mouse.
Prequel to Mighty Mouse.

Maybe you had to be there.

I still laugh a little when I think about it.

I drive a Prius and shit.

I consider this an added perk of driving a Prius.

Enjoying some dark humor on this fine September morning.

Gator Girl

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Only the facts, ma’am.

Good morning all y’all!

I was pulled over on the way home from Chickie Wah Wah’s tonight.

The police officer turned on his lights and told me to pull over.

Another police car pulled up behind him with his lights flashing.

I rolled down my window and waited.

pulled_over

 

Officer on his bullhorn: Get out of the car. 

I get out of my Prius. BTW a Prius never gets pulled over. And I don’t mind telling you, my heart was beating pretty fast.

 

Officer: You turned on a red light. There is a sign at the corner that says “No Turn on Red”.

Me:  (understanding the need for two patrol cars) I didn’t see the sign or I would have waited. 

 

Officer: There was a police car right behind you, but you turned on a red light. 

 

Me: I didn’t se the sign or I would have waited. I turned because I didn’t see the sign. Does it help that I am sorry? 

Officer: Let me just ask you. If you saw a sign that said, “No Turn on Red” would you understand what it means. 

 

Me: Yes. If I saw a sign like that, I would understand what it meant. 

Officer: Do you drive over here often?

Me: No. 

Officer: Where were you coming from? 

 

Me: I was at Chickie Wah Wah’s for a Pussyfooter general meeting.

 

Officer: (taking my license back to his car.) Is this car registered to you? 

Me: Yes.

 

Officer: (Talks to the other NOPD officer.)

 

Officer: This car is registered to you and David. 

Me: Yes, he is my husband. 

Officer: Is he home? 

Me. What? 

Officer: Be patient. I am leading up to something. When you get home, you have to take him out for ice cream. Buy him a banana split if he wants. 

 

Me. OK.

 

Officer: What are you going to do when you get home? 

Me: Take my husband for ice cream and buy him a banana split if he wants one. 

 

 

Officer:  Where does he like to go for dinner? 

Me: Dinner? 

Officer: Nothing fancy, just fast food. Where does he like to go? 

 

Me: Anywhere. He likes lots of things. 

Officer: Oh, is he a fat guy? 

 

Me: Well, we both have to watch it. 

Officer: LOL. I need to trust you here, because I don’t want to let you off with a warning if you aren’t going to take him out for ice cream. 

 

 

Me: I promise. Thank you. 

Officer: Don’t thank me. Thank your husband. He got you off.