Only the facts, ma’am.

Good morning all y’all!

I was pulled over on the way home from Chickie Wah Wah’s tonight.

The police officer turned on his lights and told me to pull over.

Another police car pulled up behind him with his lights flashing.

I rolled down my window and waited.

 

Officer on his bullhorn: Get out of the car. 

I get out of my Prius. BTW a Prius never gets pulled over. And I don’t mind telling you, my heart was beating pretty fast.

 

Officer: You turned on a red light. There is a sign at the corner that says “No Turn on Red”.

Me:  (understanding the need for two patrol cars) I didn’t see the sign or I would have waited. 

 

Officer: There was a police car right behind you, but you turned on a red light. 

 

Me: I didn’t se the sign or I would have waited. I turned because I didn’t see the sign. Does it help that I am sorry? 

Officer: Let me just ask you. If you saw a sign that said, “No Turn on Red” would you understand what it means. 

 

Me: Yes. If I saw a sign like that, I would understand what it meant. 

Officer: Do you drive over here often?

Me: No. 

Officer: Where were you coming from? 

 

Me: I was at Chickie Wah Wah’s for a Pussyfooter general meeting.

 

Officer: (taking my license back to his car.) Is this car registered to you? 

Me: Yes.

 

Officer: (Talks to the other NOPD officer.)

 

Officer: This car is registered to you and David. 

Me: Yes, he is my husband. 

Officer: Is he home? 

Me. What? 

Officer: Be patient. I am leading up to something. When you get home, you have to take him out for ice cream. Buy him a banana split if he wants. 

 

Me. OK.

 

Officer: What are you going to do when you get home? 

Me: Take my husband for ice cream and buy him a banana split if he wants one. 

 

 

Officer:  Where does he like to go for dinner? 

Me: Dinner? 

Officer: Nothing fancy, just fast food. Where does he like to go? 

 

Me: Anywhere. He likes lots of things. 

Officer: Oh, is he a fat guy? 

 

Me: Well, we both have to watch it. 

Officer: LOL. I need to trust you here, because I don’t want to let you off with a warning if you aren’t going to take him out for ice cream. 

 

 

Me: I promise. Thank you. 

Officer: Don’t thank me. Thank your husband. He got you off.